It’s been a season of heartache for the loyal Barnstoneworth fans after an impressive 5-0 win against top of league on Saturday to lose at Sydney Uni on the Sunday, with only 6 points on the board the season is clearly in turmoil.
The controversy surrounding Ben Grant’s big money transfer (Bondi Burger per goal) move has continued this week. Barnstoneworth Manager Sean McGuinness didn’t appear to be disappointed to see Ben leave when he tweeted “He [Ben] was only in the team for three things; cheap xbox games, shirt sponsorship and to attract the ladies“ this was later followed by “he only sorted out the shirt sponsorship” and later “I want your babies”. Clearly its been an emotional week for the manager.
Former manager Dave Rooney was interviewed in a South American prison after being caught in hotel room with a dead lady boy. “Ben will be remembered for his two goals in the semi finals in the 09/10 season. We [Barnstoneworth] were struggling being 7-0 up and I wanted to kill off the game. I’d being saving Ben for the big games and I gave him 15 minutes and he scored 2 in quick succession.” “The game finished 9-0 but without Ben I think we’d have really struggled to make it through to the final.”
People have questioned Ben’s fitness level during his career, Eddie Sweeney had this to say “ayaaa, I’d thought about bringing Ben to 1st team but he was fat, lazy and a wee fanny and we have to many like that already”.
Ben was nearly forced in to early retirement this season after being caught stumbling out of the Colombian Hotel, Oxford Street at 5am with a “white substance” under his nose and rent boy in arm. Following his arrest and drug test it was identified the substance to be Dib Dab. Ben later bragged on facebook that despite being incarcerated he managed to enjoy some “docking” in Darlinghurst Police Station. Certainly not a person to shy away from the media after staring in a series of block buster movies; Rectum Ravagers 1, 2 and 3, Batman In Robin, Throbin’ Hood, White Men Can’t Hump, and Sperminator.
Rumors of a testimonial match are being considered where hopeful Ben will make a starring role on the bench warm. If the testimonial goes ahead Ben has pledged any money raise to go to his personal charity GAYS (Granty’s Association for Youth Soccer). Ben takes his charity work very seriously and along with his footballing master class lessons he takes the time to help the kids get washed, showered and changed after every game. Other celebrities who help GAYS are Gary Glitter, Pete Townsend and Josef Fritzl.
Series of fooks up at the back cost us the game. All of the back four guilty at one stage or another which became slightly comically near the end.
Some good work on the wings with Stu and Mac running well with the ball and getting in to the corners. Barry did a solid job upfront on his own.
Tom did a great job of supplying the water for everyone…10/10.
Goals:1st Half: Bondi, Bondi, Barnstoneworth
2nd Half: Bondi, Bondi, Barnestoneworth
Man of the Match
Paul Jones – 18 hour drinking session and still turns up to watch, if only he could show that stamina on the pitch.
Fook up of the Match
Dean shout to get the ball back off the kick off in 5 passes to see them score in 3 passes
Barry’s penalty appeal
Adam’s Stone Cold “stunner” before they scored the fourth