Dunbar -V- Barnstownworth
Venue – Reg carpark oval
It was another brisk beautiful day in Sydney for a top of the table clash, were a win for Dunbar would probably take them on the road to a league title. A win for barnstoneworth
would take them level on points but top of the table on goal difference.
BS has been in a great run of late, undefeated in six games, there last defeat up against Dunbar in a shambolic display, going down against 10 men like magaluf girl, at least she won something.
Preparations were immaculate as per usual –
Ken – “ah me misses had a baby so I can’t play”. I’m actually embarrassed for you.
Angry Dwarf – doing deputy dog by collecting all the fines, at one stage he was trying to collect fines from Dunbar players for being late.
Bren – “I didn’t go out last night” with a taco moustache still on him.
Dave – “I won’t get sick at the warm up, I stayed in last night with a couple of glasses of Pinot noir, a cigar & watched a DVD of all Leinsters greatest victories.
Patsy – in the corner doing press ups.
Duck – doing his pre game ritual of eating a low fat organic breakfast roll.
Anal & Maggie – were both finishing off their flagans of cider.
Ste Whelan – was busy writing love letters for Immigration & spraying the letters with perfume.
Butsey – just kept shouting “waaaaaaaaaaaait”
Nick – was arguing with a bus driver about his bus fare
Downer- was just back from a “age reduction camp in the hills of Thailand
Dan- was preparing his MOTM speech
Ross-was online shopping for a diamond incrusted leather waistcoat
Gerry- was on the Romanian tinder looking for a trade in
So the game kicked off with all the lads knowing that nothing but a win was going to be good enough. It was a pretty even affair from both sides with tackles flying in all over the pitch and also on the 20×20 concrete patch in the middle, that seemed to take a likening to gerrys knees. Big Dave also seemed to be well up for the game with some big bursting runs from midfield. One in particular where there was some good passing in midfield with patsy and Dave broke a few tackles before a Dunbar player drop kicked him in the knee.. Everyone screamed for a peno apart from one girl ” who screamed don’t kick my Dave”I can only assume it was his missus or one of his groupies. Shocking decision.. free kick on the 18 yard line. I can only assume that Dan MOTM thought it was a unfair decision as he passed the ball back to the keeper. The concrete jungle got the better of Gerry as he had to come off injured. Anal had one last drink from his flagan and entered the match. Barnstoneworth went through there worst period of the game. When after some terrible marking from a corner.. Dunbar struck..1-0.. Barnstoneworth tried to get back into the game with Patsy taking goal kicks,throw ins and
even flipping burgers in the near by cafe, he even asked the ref at one stage could he ref the game and play.
Half time team talk consisted of
You’re all playing shite
You’re all bottlers in the tackle
And you’re all afraid of Dunbar
And few other choice words and a last battle cry from big Dave” come on to fuck we need to win the line outs”
Started off good apart from
Duck- you shut up dan
Dan- you shut up duck
Duck-you shut up
Dan- you shut up
Everyone was well up for it the back four of duck,Ross,mark and Ste were keeping things tight and never looked like conceding. The Midfield of Patsy,Dave,Anal,dan and Maggie coming on at H/T for buttsey were getting on top and bren up top was causing trouble with his strength and pace. Barnstoneworth were starting to cause them trouble down the left with Ste getting plenty of the ball. After some good play involving the midfield Dave broke into the box.. Goes down it’s a peno. After duck had some more breakfast roll he made his way up.. Placed it and as cool as you like sends the keeper he wrong way.. 1-1. From here on in there was only going to be one winner. Nick came back on for Dave and was starting to cause them problems down the right… But it’s was from the left after more good work from Ste Whelan who crosses in and Maggie like Nick cotton lurking around an old lady’s purse pounces good first touch and smashes it across the keeper into the opposite corner 2-1. Barnstoneworth controlled the rest of the game with Patsy doing his usual thing of covering every blade of grass and Anal getting wound up like a cheap toy at Xmas and also telling the ref **** *** ***
Hignlights of the game ” watch you don’t eat the ball… fatty”
” your like micheal flatley in football boots”
” how long is left ref? I don’t believe you give me a look at your phone”