OK lads, now I’m not going to do my Leo Tolstoy (Wynton, Google him) impression like Ro did last week, but here goes….
After a decent win in the first game against Queens Park, the momentum needed to be maintained with a win against Queens Park’s ugly-sister team.
We started well and were comfortable on the ball for the first 10 mins. Then the usually reliable operator or Gav’s brain shut-up shop and left his brain to be operated by a drunken monkey. Ball about chest height, Gav had a flashback to 1am last night and thought someone had chucked him a pint. Gav, fearing spillage, lunged out to catch the pint and made a cracking save – then he realised that it was’t a pint and was in fact a football – Yellow card.
Nick was then given a gift by their keeper – he wouldn’t have been happier if the keeper had handed him a Guinness and full Irish breakfast. 20 yards out, their keeper miss-kicks, giving it straight to Nick who dinks it over him with his left foot and into the back of the net – cool as ice – 1-0.
Now some composure was needed, but that didn’t materialise and Queens Park seemed to have woken up and were applying from pressure, resulting in a corner. Everyone had a man and our guess was that the corner would be lobbed over to Andre the Giant who they had playing centre-back. Instead, the corner went low to the front post and my man moved to meet it. As you can tell from my physique, I’m pretty Gazelle-like, but Usain Bolt out-paced me and his toe beat mine to the ball and the ball looped into the net. My bad. – 1-1.
The game then started to turn into a stale-mate, and something special was needed. That something special came in the form of a cross. With men surrounding him (reminiscent of his last visit to The Columbian), Wynton sees Nick in the box and pings in a cross to the back post. That’s when the gods, the wind, and their keepers inability collided, and Wynton’s right-footed spooner ended in the far top corner – wonder-goal!!! – 2-1.
Again, composure was needed, but again it didn’t materialise. A long goal-kick, a missed header, and a quick forward with a good finish left us back at 2-2. Half-time. Not the best, but we’re certainly not out of it.
Quote of the first half – Nick asked the ref how long was left in the first half with about 25 minutes to go. One of the opposition thought this was hilarious and said “that must be a record for the longest amount of time left” – Some classic Aussie intellect shining through there! In the words our our illustrious Manager: “Early nomination for the end of season ‘horses ass’ award”.
Quick refresh, a team-talk from Jose Middleton-Mourinho, and a hello from Anders ‘Darren Anderton’ West, and we were ready for the second half!
Half decent start to the half, resulting with a corner. Ball swings in, flicked on by Joe, and the ball fell at my feet. It may have looked like a tap-in, but the strike had the power, accuracy and precision of a sizzling 30 yarder. Keeper had no chance, which was lucky for him and if he had have touched it, his gloves would have caught fire – GOAL OF THE SEASON!! A 10 minute break then ensued as the ref had to go down Bunnings. The power of my shot had hit the back of the net so hard that the steel pegs holding it down had literally snapped in half. Ref had to go and buy more – True story. 3-2.
The next twenty minutes or so were pretty routine. Some half chances created either end, Ro and Wynton creating beef, Al (the white Makele) holding the midfield and it was all about not doing anything stupid. That was until Ro got substituted – taking his top off whilst leaving the pitch, the unrelenting crowds of women that accumulated trying to grope his masculine body delayed the game again. How he was never asked to be in Westlife I’ll never know.
Having cleared the screaming girls from the pitch, the chances started coming. Gaz had a few coming in on the right (even if he did hit the changing rooms with one), Dave had a good chance which went wide, then finally a good passing move resulted with Mark being one on one with the keeper. A confident finish and all of a sudden we had a bit of a cushion. Goal was rounded off with a burst of abuse to the opposition from Ro. Didn’t quite catch it all as it was in Irish but I expect it ended with him calling them all feckin ejits. 4-2.
Nick then rounded out the scoring with a sublime goal. I’m guessing it was sublime, I can’t actually remember. Give me a break though – much beer has killed the vast majority of my memory-based brain cells over the years and this is the most I’ve written since I was at school. 5-2.
Anyway lads, great match and we showed real character again. Bring on the next game!!