Well it was a lovely day, right up until the moment we tried to start playing football. With an almost full squad, Dan Hogan ready to make his debut, and Marti back from illness, we actually had three strikers available, so we started off as a 4,5,1. (No, we really did)
Big Flanno was in goals. The back four of Joe and Joe, Bull and Fergs started, with magic feet Mark ‘Tinder’ Canning joining Niall and Sean in the middle, Alex and Dan on the wings, and Stu up front. The object of the day was to keep a clean sheet, or at least that was the plan. Alas, the opposition hadn’t been told and they proceeded to run riot from the off.
Their first chance came from what proved to be just the first of many misplaced passes of the day after just a couple of minutes, fortunately that one didn’t go in.
The opposition were pacey, decent footballers with good movement, and looked every inch a team in it’s fourth game of the season. We on the otherhand, were slow, ponderous, bereft of ideas, incapable of passing to our own players with any kind of regularity, and played like a bunch of strangers, who don’t really like each other, with learning difficulties, and far too much confidence in our own footballing ‘abilities’.
After 20 minutes we were already 2-0 down and although we had a ten minute spell towards the end of the first half when Ewan came on, (late again – and consequently on the bench) we never really looked like scoring apart from one chance for Stuart who hit a shot well but it stuck to the goalkeepers gloves in a manner not seen too often in amateur football. Even when a ball popped up in the air in the box from a corner, 3 of us stood there like lemons, and allowed their smallest defender to head clear.
Maccabi should have had a penalty in the first half when Chris came on for (someone?) at the back and in his desperate attempts to inject some life into the team he knocked the ball forward with his hand. Fortunately for us, the ref was unsighted, but that was the only thing Chris managed to get away with for the rest of the day.
Half time – 0-2
And then, in what can only be described as the highlight of our day (1 of 2 perhaps). Marti came on at the start of the second half. Game kicks off, ball gets passed to Marti, who takes a touch, and then bangs one in from fully 35 /4o yards. 2 touches, 1 goal !! Right in the bottom corner past the full length dive of the keeper. Absolute beauty.
So for the next couple of minutes we’re in the game.
Alas, with virtually their next attack and a bit more keystone cops defending, they score, and it was a beauty, outside of the foot and hit like a rocket into the far corner, Flanno had no chance. 1-3
We had two more clear chances in the game, one we fucked up, and another one that was hit well and was travelling, but the goalkeeper just collected it like it was nothing.
They scored another after carving open our defence (again), with our midfield watching them do it (again). 1-4
They could have scored eight but mercifully for us, they didn’t take their opportunities. One of which was a clear 1 on 1, and it brought a brilliant save from Flanno, (No.2 highlight).
Overall, a terrible performance and we got exactly what we deserved. Fair play to Maccabi, they played the conditions much better than ourselves and outplayed us all over the pitch.
Apologies to those who didn’t get a mention, consider it a small mercy not to be associated with such utter dross.
Waste of an afternoon. Thank God the pub still sells beer.