The mighty AA8 team arrived at Paine Reserve to take on the not so mighty QP B team on a bright and ridiculously warm winters day. It was a slightly reduced squad with top goalscorer Dan Hogan out with toothache, Doncaster Rovers number 1(of 6) fan Ricky was nursing a bad knee, as was new midfield maestro Liam. Fortunately, the magical reappearance of talisman Sean on the sidelines inspired the lads to such an extent that even the chemical brothers and the Stallion were speechless for a change – though naturally, that didn’t last long.
The game kicked off and within two minutes Ciaran breaks into the box draws the keeper and shoots, but alas straight at the keeper and it remains 0-0. Then it’s great work by Andy on the left, puts the ball in for John as the keeper comes out and John just has to get to the ball first, but the keeper just gets there in time.
The stallion is having plenty of joy on the left against the hapless right back, and he turns him inside out and back again and then crosses into the box, and everyone just looks at the ball. Ciaran is having similar joy against the left back, but we just can’t get anyone on the end of the ball.
More good work on the left and a cross comes in and the keeper collects – erm, come on lads, attack the F$%@#ing ball.
After about 15 mins, QP enter the BUFC half for the first time, the balls up in the air, Alistair heads his own knee, and there’s a bit of a break on, but it’s great work by Daz Gordon as he stands his ground and calmly takes the ball off the attacker.
Rab decides he’s bored and decides to start playing left midfield , there’s a lovely one two with Big Gav, the ball bounces up, Rab sticks his arm out, pushes the ball down and keeps on running, everyone starts laughing as it’s obviously a free kick, but the excellent referee has actually missed it. The ball is pushed to the right and Rab goes for the return, but he’s so tired by the time he gets it, he falls over. Stick to defending Rab.
QP manage to get into the BUFC half for the 2nd time and this times it’s a lot more dangerous, as the attacker is forced wide by Marcel who chases him to the edge of the area, the guy turns, plays the ball to his midfield partner who shoots and puts the ball a couple of feet wide. Yes, they really could have been 1-0 up!
This inspires the lads and Darren Dooley in particular who starts chasing down every ball in midfield as though he’s just a bit smaller than average, and a bit slower than average, but he still thunders into a couple of tackles and wins the ball. Big Gav gets into the action with a Cruyff turn in the middle of the field, with no opposition within 10 yards of him, and then sprays the ball to the right, the ball goes long and Andy pops up on the right hand side, waits for the defender, absolutely strolls past him, heads to the byline and pulls it back for Ciaran to stick the ball in the back of the net. 1-0 nil.
Surely the floodgates will open now.
Darren Dooley rides a tackle (or something similar), he’s closing in on the edge of the box, Niall is in loads of space, here comes goal No.2, surely… but Darren decides to shoot instead.
Another ball is floated from the right towards the back post and John Murray is there again, just needs to stick his head on it… ah, missed the ball.
Another ball into the box and this times it’s Niall on the end of it, ah, he’s missed the ball completely as well.
John goes off and on comes the only Dooley brother to score in the past three years, it’s Anto. Disappointed at not starting after scoring a beauty last week from 35 yards, he’s straight into the actionand the ball breaks to him in the box, he’s four yards out, the goal at his mercy..and it’s over the bar…
There’s a shot from Andy, saved, or deflected, it falls to Niall, two yards out, he shoots, misses the ball, because he’s in the middle of doing the hokey cokey, he leans back sticks his other foot out, manages to connect with the ball this time, and it’s 2-0.
Half time whistle goes and as the team walk off, someone wonders aloud what time QP are expected to turn up ?
The half time team talk follows the usual pattern, Billy mutters something about playing football, then asks Rab for his input. Rab sets off talking whilst everyone else looks on trying to work out what he’s actually saying.
The 2nd half kicks off, and carries on in more or less the same fashion as the first half, although I was slightly (ie massively) distracted by cooking the sausages and drinking some beer so the details are a bit sketchy.
Basically, all of these things happened, but not necessarily in this order.
Niall, has a glorious chance to score, but the ball hits his shoulder instead of his head.
The Stallion continues to take the piss out of the opposition, but as he’s promised two children on the sidelines that “I’ll score three today”, he shoots whenever he can and fails continually to trouble the opposition goalkeeper.
Daz Gordon, being at least 1ft shorter than the guy he’s marking wins 4 headers in a row from goal kicks as we continue to dominate the game.
Finally Andy hits the target, as he cuts inside a defender and sticks the ball into the back of the net – 3-0
Bruiser comes on, and we concede a penalty – make of that what you will, some call it co-incidence, but I can’t be sure as I had actually turned round to open up a beer at that precise moment and missed it. I am reliably informed that Rab, Alistair, or Foxy was to blame.
Foxy takes a free kick, well hit, the keeper drops it and John Murray almost hooks it back towards the goal.
John Murray then manages to get onto a ball, seventeen times harder than the ones he’s been missing all day, hits the ball on the half volley and it goes just wide of the post. It’ll come John.
QP actually start playing in our half for a bit, they hit one just wide, and win a few corners, but they come to nothing.
Andy latches onto a ball over the top, the keeper is committed, but Andy scuffs his shot.
The crowd call out for more, but the ref decides he’s seen enough and blows for full time 3-1.
A strangely disappointing game, with so many chances , we should have scored a few more, but a win is a win, and in reality, everyone was more interested in the sausages that were being expertly cooked on the sideline.
Paul Hartley was on the pitch, but neither he, Al,or Foxy really had that much to do, and this is line is just making up the numbers making sure everyone gets a mention.