Match Report AA8 v Lions FC (01/07/12)

A depleted Barnstoneworth took on The Lions at the Paine Reserve.

The management came up with a plan so cunning you could brush your teeth with it – we were to score more goals than the opposition. Billy also announced the introduction of a “holiday application form” that must be signed off by himself and Mark before there are any more holidays!!

To everyone’s amazement we took the lead after a couple of minutes. A sublime through ball from Gav found Danny who smashed the ball into the bottom corner. One nil to us. Good to see big Gav back – he’s had more time off than the Queens overalls commented one onlooker!

The Lions surprised us by playing some lovely short passes that eventually led to a penalty. Ricky pulling down one of there guys. Ricky pled not guilty and was as about as innocent as OJ Simpson.

Big Marcel athletically dived to his left and saved  the penalty!!!!!!!!!! – It was like watching a falling log commented another onlooker.  Three or four of the lads passed out with shock (including Marcel.) When asked why he dived to his left, Marcel replied it the only side he can fall on.

30 seconds later we took the lead from a smart free kick from Paul.

Halt time – 2-0 to us.

We started the second half slowly and Marcel pulled off a couple of smart saves. Eventually we got our game together. With 15 minutes to go, the oldest man in the squad Mr Hibs (motm two weeks ago) replaces Muzza, and was immediately called on to hit a free kick from the edge of the box. Unfortunately he skyed it. This was quickly followed by the sound of broken glass. We’ve been informed that the ball is still travelling!! It passed Carrington road, then hit a lamppost on Arden Street and was last seen in Clovelly!

With 1 minute left Ronan scored his first goal for Barnstoneworth – after a smart turn and shot in the box.

Final score 3-0.

Marcel – motm performance from the Dutchman.

Pete – steady eddy.

Skipper John – must work harder at first goal scorer prizes – Ricky still devastated with his hard hat prize (incidentally the hard hat is still available)

Big Al – Jocktastic.

Ricky Balotelli – no nonsense performance form the no nonsense Yorkshireman

Paul – great goal

Gav “Spiderman” Houston – a 5 week diet of deep-fried mars bars had no effect on the big man

Sean – involved in everything as usual.

John “Muzza” Murray – shamrocktastic

Ronan – more twists and turns than a joyrider’s getaway car.

Danny – Top goal

Mark – Helped out again. Top show from the 60 year old Director of football.

Andy – spending a year dead for tax reasons – Last seen headed for Christmas Island on a boat full of Bangladeshi’s.

Anto & Darren (Noel and Liam) – anyone know where these Jackeens are??

Daz – took up an offer from Andy to join him and his ladyboy mates in Thailand.

Bruiser – an honours graduate of the Paul Hartley school of tackling – still missing in action.

Jonesy – a rare absence from the chirpy cockney

Neil – Last seen in a pie and mash shop down the old Kent Road

Lee – Out with torn ligaments. Must come along and cheer the lads on. Although when stood on the touchline – no smoking the ganja!

Coogee next week – who start there warm up 50 minutes before the start of the game!!!  Maybe we can do the same, although I’m aware this would clash with our pre-game breakfast roll.

Still looking good for making the finals!!